Because Human Sex Sounds are Bad Enough

From: Mom
To: Annie

So you and Erle looking forward to DE?

With DADDY?

LOL

What fun!!

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From: Annie
To: Mom

Do you think he’s not going to let us stay in the same room?

I’ll be mortified.


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From: Mom
To: Annie


You should ask him.

LOL

You're LIVING together.

Just don't make monkey sex sounds.

The neighbors you know....

Don't rush it, Ma. I'm only 23.

To: Annie
From: Mom

I was just watching Bringing Home Baby and started to cry cuz the next time I’m in a maternity ward it will be for YOUR baby.

Or keep your legs crossed.

To: Sara
From: Mom
Subject: Please Call Me...

although go to the bathroom first so you do not pee in your pants.

XOXO

1099s are just another way of saying "I Love You"

To: Christina
From: Mom

I need the 1099s for all of your bank accounts. You should have them from your ING accts and also your Commerce (now TD Bank) accounts. If you could print them and bring them with you today that would be great.

See you later

Love Mom

I'm not sleepy, I'm just drunk

To: Reg
From: Mom

Hi Mr. handsome, How are doing? I didn't hear your voice for a long time. I miss you so much. I hope your company recognize how you work so hard for the co. Make time for yourself. Get enough sleep 'cuz everytime I see you, you're tired and sleepy. Okey just want to say hello and make sure that you are okey. Love you so much.

MOM